Getting a good night’s sleep is one of the best ways to improve your health – and the right mattress is essential to achieve this. Although shopping for a mattress isn’t an easy task, it becomes even harder when you’re going to buy for you and your partner. Both of you have to be comfortable and this is such a huge challenge because of so many factors, including the possibility that you and your partner don’t have the same preferences in sleep positions and firmness of the mattress. Add to that are your differing weights, your preferred mattress types, and your bedroom activities with your partner. It can indeed be a big problem, especially if both of you don’t agree on some aspects.
Mattress shopping though doesn’t have to be stressful. You can find the ideal mattress for you both despite those differences mentioned above. Modern mattresses now come in various sizes, firmness, and types. With luck, knowledge, and perseverance, you will definitely arrive at the right decision.
Couples Shopping for Mattresses
One of the things to consider when buying a mattress is the size. The larger the bed, the more comfortable you both are. However, you need more space for that in your room, not to mention getting it up the stairs if your home has a few floors. Additionally, the price gets higher as the mattress becomes bigger. Some mattresses though just have one size, but there are some that have the following standard sizes:
|Full size||54×75 inches|
Twins are normally used by children, so even if you and your partner are small people, this isn’t really the recommended size. Some couples can sleep comfortably on a full sized bed, but queen sized mattresses are generally recommended for couples. If you want the widest, king sized beds are for you and they will provide both of you with a lot of space – especially if you or your partner moves a lot. On average, a person moves at least 40 to 60 times every night. Such movements can make the other person uncomfortable and not have enough rest. In this case, the king sized bed is most likely the right size for you.
There is a variation of the king sized bed known as California King. Not all mattresses have this size, but it is generally four inches narrower than the regular king size but has four more inches in length. This size is recommended for tall couples.
But what size is the best size for couples?
Given that there are different sizes available, couples looking for mattresses may still be confused and a little more choosy. Many years ago, a full sized (or double) bed was considered the couples’ bed. But these days, customers are more meticulous and bedrooms are often bigger than before. Since full sized mattresses only measure 54 inches wide, one person only has about 27 inches of space. This number doesn’t sound inviting and comfortable at all. In fact, this is almost the same amount of space for babies in their crib mattresses.
However, the recommendation is to go for the queen size at the very least. If your room and your budget can take the king, then without a doubt, it is the way to go.
The queen sized bed, as stated above, is 60×80 inches and therefore each individual on the bed has about 30 inches of space to sleep on. Believe it or not, a twin size mattress is bigger because it has 38 to 39 inches of sleeping surface for an individual. But a twin cannot hold two people and allow them to be comfortable, so the queen is still more preferred. In reality, if you were to choose the king sized mattress, it is almost equivalent to using two twins together side by side. Some people opt for two twins instead, especially if they simply want a king-sized headboard, but their support and firmness levels vary.
The sleep space is as important as the size of the mattress. It is therefore recommended that you bring your partner with you as you shop for a mattress. This will allow you to determine the right size for the both of you. You should also test the mattress together in terms of space among many other factors that affect your buying decision.
Aside from the size, couples also need to think about the type of mattress to choose. There are several mattress types in the market today, including latex, memory foam, air, and innerspring mattresses. This usually boils down to the preferences of the couple, so take some time to talk to your partner about what kind of mattress he or she wants. Discuss with each other and you two can make the decision in the end. Finding out what kind of mattress to buy is very helpful because it narrows down your list of choices.
Most people though believe that memory foam and air mattresses are the best types of mattresses for couples. These two have advantages for couples:
- Air Mattress: Don’t confuse an air mattress with a portable inflatable mattress as these two aren’t the same. Air mattresses give you the freedom to adjust them, meaning you can change the firmness of the mattress to go along with your preferences. You can also add an air topper (not a full air mattress) if you simply want to change the level of firmness of your bed.
- Memory Foam Mattress: What’s really great about memory foam is that it can absorb movement really well. If you or your partner loses sleep because the other moves a lot, memory foam mattresses are a great option.
Latex mattresses are also a good choice for couples and so are those adjustable beds that allow you to raise the foot or the head of the bed. The latter type of bed typically allow separate positions on the two sides of the bed, so you two can sleep peacefully without disturbing each other.
All in all, motion is one of the biggest disputes for couples, so make sure the mattress you choose can help solve this issue particularly if one is a light sleeper or is always tossing and turning at night. Apart from the motion transfer, here are some other key features of the mattress type to help you decide:
- Memory foam mattress should have high-density foam. It is no secret that compared to most types of mattresses, memory foam is the most excellent at motion isolation. To increase the benefit, have high density foam, so that the mattress will perform better in this area.
- If you’re going for latex, make sure to check the candidates carefully. Latex mattresses are no memory foam mattresses when it comes to motion isolation. There are some, however, that are fairly decent when it comes to absorbing movement. You just have to research on the mattress in question to be able to know its capacity in motion transfer.
- If you want innerspring mattresses, go for one that uses pocketed coils. Most innerspring mattresses aren’t recommended for couples looking for motion-absorbing qualities. However, mattresses that have pocketed coils are actually good with isolating motion from the other side of the mattress.
The third important thing to consider before you buy a mattress is both of your sleeping styles. People usually sleep on their backs or their sides, but there are also others who sleep on their stomachs. Some mattresses specialize on stomach sleepers, while others are good for back sleepers. You can also find plenty of mattresses that are ideal for side sleepers, but are not good for back and stomach sleepers. Of course, there are mattresses that are great for all kinds of sleepers, but not everyone is happy with them.
Before you go shopping, talk about your preferred sleeping position with your partner. Note that if you sleep on your stomach, you will have different requirements if your partner sleeps on his or her side. Meanwhile, if both of you have the same sleeping styles, it is definitely much easier, although you still have to discuss other important aspects, such as whether you should go for a soft mattress or a firm one.
As you take your preferred sleep style in consideration, here are some points that will prove to be beneficial in your quest to finding the right mattress:
|Sleep Style||Requirements||Go For…||Avoid…|
|Back Sleeper||You’re susceptible to back and spine problems because of the strain placed on those areas of the body as you lie down. In this case, you need more support than those with other sleep styles.||A medium firm memory foam mattress or a more plush mattress||Too plush mattresses and old spring mattresses|
|Side Sleeper||You’ll face aches and pains in your hips and shoulders with the wrong mattress. These are the most important parts of the body and the right mattress will be able to cradle them.||A soft to medium mattress, preferably memory foam with adequate support on your shoulders, hips, and even your spine with enough thickness and density||Traditional spring mattresses|
|Stomach Sleeper||Sleeping on your stomach puts a lot of pressure on your spine, so the mattress should alleviate that strain.||Not too firm mattress, but not too soft either but is more on the firm side than plush to get the right support for the spine||Coil spring mattresses|
With all those things considered, the most important thing you can do as you shop for your next mattress is to test it with your partner. As you go to the shop, you should wear comfortable clothes and don’t ever hesitate to ask questions to any salesperson. Even if you already performed your research, it helps to talk to someone in person, including questions about the pros and cons of the types of mattress and even the materials used.
When you have found the mattress you want, both of you should remove your shoes and test it. Lie down on it for about 20 minutes. Don’t be afraid to roll around to feel if you disturb each other with your movements. Make sure you lie on the position you usually fall asleep in. Yes, it is awkward to do all these things, but it’s normal as a part of the testing process. The biggest benefit is that you will find the right mattress for you and your partner.
Sleep Issues for Couples and How to Solve Them
As much as you want the mattress shopping to go as smoothly as possible, there are a lot of problems you will face – and most of them have been around even before you have decided to buy. Some are easily solvable by means of talking to your partner, while others need a little bit more discussion and consideration. But what matters is that you both arrive at a decision that will please the two of you. This way, both of you are happy and can get a good night’s rest.
According to statistics, one person loses almost 50 minutes of sleep because they share the bed with their partner. Think about this: if you have spent 20 years together, you lose an average of over 50,000 hours of sleep and that is a truly devastating number.
So, we compiled the top 10 problems couples face as they shop for a mattress. Here they are, along with their solutions:
1. She wants soft, he wants firm
This is a very common problem because most couples don’t have the same body weight and body frame. As a result, both individuals will want varying levels of firmness of the mattress. Oftentimes, one of them will compromise and give in to the other’s preferred firmness. Thankfully, this doesn’t have to be the case. Here are the things that you can consider to solve this issue:
- Go for memory foam or latex mattresses. These types of mattresses can typically be ordered in varying levels of firmness on the two sides of the single bed, so as to accommodate both people.
- Go for split chamber beds. An example is a softside waterbed that allows both individuals create their own firmness or comfort level. You can find a lot of waterbed chambers that offer different degrees of motion, fiber filling, and other preferences.
- Buy two single twin beds. Although this is the least popular option, some people do consider this for their own comfort. An extra-large twin bed is actually half the size of the standard king sized bed. Therefore, if you put two twin XL beds side by side, you can get a king bed frame.
For those who aren’t really buying a new mattress and yet they disagree on the firmness of their current mattress, using a memory foam topper on the side of the bed where the extra softness is desired. However, if your mattress is already saggy or has problem with support, this solution isn’t really recommended.
2. Health problems
If you or your partner has an injury or any disorder that may require elevation of a portion of the body during sleep, this can be a problem as you shop for a mattress. Oftentimes, the other one may not have similar needs, such as that kind of adjustment. This can prove to be cumbersome and awkward, especially if you stack up pillows on the other side of the bed. You don’t have to sleep in a recliner, so you can sleep peacefully. If this is your case, here are some suggestions to solve this problem:
- Use a home adjustable base. This allows users to move the head and foot of the bed. The good news is that they come in split options for king and queen sizes, which means they are great for couples with different adjustment requirements. The models today actually resemble box springs and even provide luxury features, such as massage. Of course, they are not cheap, but you can find them in a price range between $1,000 and $5,000. Although a little pricier than other mattresses, they are built to last for several years.
- Use bed wedge pillows. Meanwhile, if you’re on a budget and you’re simply looking for a temporary solution as you or your significant other recuperates, a bed wedge pillow is a good solution. This allows one person to elevate their head or their feet without creating disturbance to the other individual in bed.
Note that home adjustable beds aren’t just for people who have injuries. If you or your partner has acid reflux, edema, or sleep apnea, this type of bed can provide benefits. Even those who are perfectly healthy can use adjustable beds for their long-term happiness in their room.
3. Sometimes you want space, sometimes you want to cuddle
As a couple, you could fall asleep so close to each other no matter how big the bed is. There are times you want to snuggle all night, but there are also times when you want your own space. Sometimes you want to spread your arms and legs out, but you can’t. This can greatly impact both the quality of your sleep and your comfort. If this is one of your problems, here are some recommended solutions:
- Go for the biggest mattress your bedroom and your budget will allow. While it is true that most people, including couples, buy queen sized mattresses, they don’t give as much room as you should – even toddlers have more room in their twin sized bed. So, for this reason, if you can afford it and you have enough space in your bedroom, go for a king-sized bed. This bed will give you nine extra inches for sleep surface.
- If you two are quite tall, go for a California King bed. Some mattresses have the same price for both standard king and California king. It’s up to you whether you want extra four inches in height, but less four inches in width.
4. Your partner tosses and turns
If your partner moves around a lot every night, this can keep you up and make you lose precious hours of sleep – especially if you have a hard time of going back to sleep again. Fortunately for you, there are easy solutions for this:
- Consider a memory foam mattress. This type of mattress is well known for its ability to decrease motion transfer. Instead of dispersing motion, it will absorb it, so you don’t feel your partner moving around the bed a lot.
- If you’re using spring mattress, replace it. Consider replacing your old spring mattress, especially if your main complaint is being woken up by your restless partner. This type of mattress shakes and pushes the whole surface as one person moves.
- Use individual comforters. Tugging and hogging for comforters are eliminated.
The solutions above are also useful for couples who have different schedules. You won’t get disturbed if your partner wakes up while you’re sleeping.
5. Different sleeping position preferences
As mentioned earlier, this is an important factor that can influence your buying decision. Many couples don’t know how significant this is, but the mattress you choose can affect your sleep quality, comfort, and even your health. To sum it up, here’s how to simplify your mattress choice based on your sleep position:
- Side sleepers need a more plush surface to provide comfort for their hips and shoulders, while relieving pressure.
- Back sleepers require medium to firm mattress with some degree of contouring, while providing ample support for the alignment of their spine.
- Stomach sleepers need firm mattresses, since soft mattresses can cause misalignment of their upper body and hips.
If the sleep position is different for each couple, a split mattress may be of use. Adjustable beds are also a great choice as mentioned above.
6. Your partner snores
Noise can keep you up at night and it can be irritating if your partner snores. But you don’t have to be in another room just to avoid the noise. Here are some solutions:
- You can use headphones or earplugs. This is the most common solution, since white noise or ambient noise can drown snoring and keep it out of your mind. There are many phone apps that you can use to help you sleep through the snoring noise.
- Elevate the body to reduce snoring. Doing so can be achieved with an adjustable bed. With just a push of a button, you can elevate your partner if he or she starts disrupting your sleep with snoring. Temporarily, you can ask him or her to put some pillows under the back and the neck to gently elevate the body.
If the snoring is too loud or you notice that your partner stops breathing at some point, bring it to their attention. It’s typically harmless, but it can indicate that he/she has sleep apnea or even other health issues. Medical experts usually advise those with sleep apnea to sleep on their sides and as you shop for a mattress, you may want to consider one that is best suited for this sleep position.
7. Sleeping hot
Some people give off more heat than others. If you’re one of them and your partner feels cold, this can become a problem. Couples can have certain comfort zones and there are many times when they can be the opposite of the other person’s comfort. If this is one of the disputes you have, here are some ideas:
- Have your own comforters that come with varying blanket weights.
- If you’re using a waterbed, you can install dual or separate heaters.
- There are heating and cooling systems for beds that you can use today. These systems allow you to control the sleeping surface with the use of safe water technology.
8. Different weights
Another problem, which can affect the mattress you will buy, is the difference in weight. If there is such a huge difference in terms of weight between you and your significant other, shopping for a mattress can be such a challenge because you will need to find one that will suit you both. If you visit a store, you will probably be advised to get a very firm mattress to accommodate the heavier person. Others will offer you with something in the middle.
Although these two suggestions may work, the practical approach is to actually get two different mattresses. It may sound like an extreme solution, but it’s not. One side is softer, while the other is firmer. There are also manufacturers that offer bespoke service, so you can fully customize the beds. You can add a topper, so it looks like one bed. Two twins are equivalent to a king sized bed.
Meanwhile, if you only want one mattress, a memory foam mattress that offers the best quality of memory foam is the recommended solution.
9. Heavy Couples
Most mattress manufacturers state that their products have a weight limit of 114kg or 250+ lbs. So, if you and your significant other are above this weight, it can be a struggle to find the right mattress. But of course, there are a number of mattresses for you. It is important, however, to take note of the following:
- Mattress Thickness: The mattress should be very thick in order for it to support both of your weights; otherwise, this can cause the mattress to bottom out. Plus, if one or both are side sleepers, this can cause major pressure points. As a guideline, the mattress should be at least six inches in thickness and the support layer should make up at least 51% of the overall thickness of the mattress.
- Mattress Firmness: The recommended firmness levels for larger people are medium-firm and firm, depending on the preferences. Very firm mattresses are actually quite fine for heavier persons, especially for side and stomach sleepers. They need extra support that a firmer mattress can provide. What’s more, firm mattresses don’t really feel firm for them because they exert adequate pressure on the mattress, causing it to contour to their body, while reducing pressure points.
- Mattress Density: There are mattresses that offer high-density support, which is equivalent to 1.8 lbs. per feet at least in foam mattresses. Meanwhile, if you’re getting innerspring, the coil count should be dense with at least 600 coils for a queen mattress.
Not all manufacturers disclose their density information, so you may want to ask a salesperson or a representative about it.
10. Disagree on the mattress to buy
So you’ve made your research and you discussed everything with your partner only to find that the mattress he/she wants isn’t the same as yours. Don’t worry as this is all normal. Have a good conversation with your partner again and if you still can’t agree, compromise. There are plenty of solutions, especially if the firmness is just the problem. Discuss the price as well before you buy. Have a price range and make sure that you stick to it, so you don’t have problems in the end. Do your research with your partner and go to a store to test the candidates for comfort.
Top 5 Mattresses that Couples Should Consider
With all those things in mind, you surely want to get an idea about which mattresses you should look into. Here are our top five picks that will help you speed up your search:
1. Amerisleep Americana – $999
Amerisleep continues to impress sleepers with their high-quality mattresses for a really attractive price range. This time, it’s Amerisleep Americana, which is a great mattress for couples. It is a medium firm mattress that offers great support, a stylish cover, and a cool surface, so both of you can sleep peacefully and comfortably at night.
|Layers||10 inches of foam mattress with:
· Three inches of Bio-Pur patented memory foam as the top layer for cool and comfortable sleep
· Seven inches of high density support foam with deep compression support and increased breathability
|Cover||· Made from a combination of Celliant and polyester for better durability and even health benefits such as improved blood flow
· Thin cover that is aesthetically modern
|Firmness||· A medium firm mattress without dramatic hug or sinkage
· The sleeper will feel as if he/she is floating on the mattress without contouring much to the shape of the body
|Comfort||Balanced level of comfort with impressive cool surface throughout the night|
|Support||· Excellent support plus responsiveness due to the high quality Bio-Pur memory foam
· Sleepers won’t feel stuck or like they’re in a quicksand
· Mattress moves with the user
|Sinkage||For an average size person:
· Back Sleeping: 0.5 to one inch
· Standing in the Middle: Four to 4.5 inches
· Aggressive sitting on the edge: 2.5 to three inches
· Conservative sitting on the edge: 1.5 to two inches
The Amerisleep Americana is great for couples because it has a balanced level of firmness. It provides great pressure relief whether you’re a side sleeper, back, or a stomach sleeper. It also provides a good level of contouring without making you feel you’re sinking so much into the mattress. It also allows you to sleep cool and the motion transfer is definitely excellent – something you can expect from Amerisleep. All these and its other great features mentioned above are available for such an affordable price.
2. Purple Mattress – $1,299
Unlike Amerisleep, Purple is just a new company. But they are starting to get some customers interested in their mattresses. If you’re looking for something unique other than latex or memory foam, here’s a hyper-elastic polymer mattress that’s one of a kind.
|Layers||The mattress is 9.5 inches thick with three layers of hyper-elastic polymer and foam:
· Two inches of hyper-elastic polymer for cooling and comfort
· 3.5 inches of polyurethane foam to provide transitional and deep compression support
· Four inches of polyurethane foam as the foundation of the mattress
|Cover||· A blend of viscose, polyester-lycra and polyester
· Very breathable, soft, and stretchy
· Classic all white color
|Firmness||· Medium firmness that is best suited for most types of sleepers|
|Support||· Feels like latex but feels much better and reduces pressure point
· Excellent at spreading the pressure between the mattress and the sleeper’s body
|Sinkage||For an average weight person:
· Back Sleeper: One to 1.25 inches of sinkage
· Side Sleeper: One to 1.5 inches
· Sitting on the edge: 2.5 to three inches
· Aggressive sitting on the edge: Three to 3.5 inches
· Standing on the center: Five to 5.5 inches
The medium firm mattress is good for couples wanting “just the right kind of firmness.” It’s not too firm and not too soft either. If you and your significant other have similar weights, even if you have different sleep styles, consider Purple mattress. The polymer material even provides great bounce, so this mattress is great for bedroom activities.
3. Charles P. Rogers St. Regis Pillow top – $1,100
This mattress comes in queen size and has four grips for easy handling. This is an innerspring mattress that is great for couples who are looking for a new mattress.
|Layers||· Measures 13 inches of innerspring mattress
· Seven layers of cotton, and high density comfort foam
|Cover||· Has a cotton or synthetic blend of knit top quilt
· Hypoallergenic cover
|Support||· Individually pocketed coil unit|
While the Charles P. Rogers St. Regis Pillow top may not have good edge support, if you don’t like to sit or sleep near the edge of the bed, this one is a great choice. It is a highly recommended innerspring mattress for couples because unlike most innerspring beds, this mattress offers high responsiveness to body pressure points. Whether you or your partner is a bit heavy, you will like how supportive this mattress is. What’s more, it is naturally cool without the use of toxic chemicals in the creation of the mattress.
4. Alexander Hybrid – $1,199
This next mattress is a pocketed coil mattress that couples will actually love. The Alexander Hybrid is from Nest Bedding and offers universal comfort while delivering good design and luxury at the same time.
|Layers||With 13 inches of total mattress height consisting of four layers:
· Two inches of quilted cover for improved airflow and pressure relief
· Two inches of gel memory foam infused with copper to pull the heat away from the body
· Two inches of SmartFlow foam to provide transitional support
· Seven inches of pocketed coils
|Cover||· Combination of polyester and rayon
· With polyurethane foam pad in the cover for added comfort
· Great cooling and breathability
|Firmness||· Medium feel mattress
· Balanced sinkage level and hug
|Support||· Offers great edge support
· Balanced level of support without making you feel you’re sinking into the mattress
|Sinkage||· Back sleepers: One to 1.75 inches
· Side sleepers: One to 1.75 inches
· Conservative sitting on the edge: 3.5 to four inches
· Aggressive sitting on the edge: 3.5 to four inches
· Standing on the center of the mattress: Five inches of sinkage
What’s really notable about this mattress is that it has great bounce. Pocketed coil mattresses have always had this trait, which make them ideal for couples. This is quite surprising since it only has two layers of foam on top of the base. Couples will also like this mattress because it has very little motion transfer, even if it’s not a memory foam mattress. The seven inches of support makes it also a good option for heavier couples.
5. Loom & Leaf – $1,399
Like Purple, Loom & Leaf is relatively new. The mattress is offered online and is actually a part of Saatva, one of the recognized mattress manufacturers. For couples looking for a mattress that offers cool sleep surface, good materials, and is available online, Loom & Leaf may be the right one for you.
|Layers||12 inches tall with four layers:
· Two inches of gel memory foam for cooling
· 2.5 inches of viscoelastic memory foam for deep compression support
· Two inches of transition loft pad for improved comfort and support
· 5.5 inches of support base
|Cover||· Offers a textured feel
· Soft and breathable
· Quilted cover with 5/8 inches of foam layer
· Gold trim along the edges with handles on the sides
|Firmness||· Comes in relaxed firm and firm models
· Relaxed firm is for couples who want medium firm
|Support||Very responsive when you lie down and will react to pressure accordingly|
|Sinkage||For a person who’s average in weight:
· Back sleeping: One to 1.5 inches
· Sitting near the edge: Two inches
· Sitting at the edge: Four inches
· Standing in the center of the mattress: Four inches
The Loom & Leaf mattress did really well at the sinkage tests, making it an ideal mattress for people who are a bit heavier than normal. What’s really interesting is that this is a really thick mattress, but isn’t even a memory foam mattress. This is quite impressive because the total sinkage percentage is relatively lower than most memory foam mattresses with the same thickness. Just like Amerisleep, Loom & Leaf uses plant-based foams. However, some customers have noted that the mattresses give off smell during the first time they used it – unlike with Amerisleep where off-gassing isn’t noticeable. Nevertheless, the mattress from Loom & Leaf will be odor-free after a day or two.
The mattresses listed above offer the following traits:
- Great motion transfer
- Balanced support
- Excellent bounce for couple activities
- Recommended firmness and feel even for picky people
Your game plan is to start with talking to your partner regarding both of your preferences. Communication is key, like other things in the relationship. Talk about what you want in your next mattress, along with your likes and dislikes. Make sure you do your research well and discern which aspects you agree and disagree on.
As you start shopping, don’t commit right away. You should allocate enough time to go to various shops and visit as many specialty mattress shops online as you can. Make a list of your favorites and narrow down your options until you find the best one for the both of you.